80.del

po stopnicah sva šla v kuhinjo. Pattie je bila z roko naslonjena na pult in naju gledala. 

''sorry mom, she's crazy'' s prstom je pokazal name. 

''I'm crazy?'' sem se zasmejala. pogledal me je. 

''yeah, you're crazy!'' je rekel in se zasmejal. Pattie se je začela smejati. 

''alright guys, have fun, I'll make the desert'' 

''no,no Pattie, we'll make it. I promise'' 

''okay'' je rekla, se nasmehnila in šla iz kuhinje. Justin je prišel bližje meni. 

''dooon't do it again'' 

''come on, why not?''

''we have to do the desert'' 

''you're my desert'' 

''it's half past six, we have to hurry'' 

''guhhh okay'' nasmehnila sem se in on tudi. potem sva začela delati. 

končno sva končala. izgledalo je dobro. pozvonilo je.

''oh look, Sam and dad are here already'' 

''I'll opeeen!'' je iz dnevne sobe zavpila Pattie. šla sva za njo. 

''hi!'' 

''hey guys'' 

''heey'' sta rekla oba. 

''please, come in'' šla sta notri. usedli smo se za mizo in bilo nas je res veliko. začeli smo jesti. moj oči in Jeremy sta se zelo dobro ujela. kmalu smo pojedli. vsi skupaj smo se prestavili v dnevno sobo in igrali karte in druge igre. ura je bila že enajst in bil je čas, da smo Justin, Chaz, Ryan, Sam in jaz odpravili ven. 
bila sem oblečena tako: 
 
''oh God, you're so beautiful again'' 

''aww thanks Justin'' poljubil me je. potem so bili že vsi pripravljeni. z Justinom sva se prijela za roke in šli smo ven. prišli smo v mesto in začeli smo iskati Petra. končno smo ga našli.

''hey there, ginger hair!'' sem zaklicala. obrnil se je in me pogledal. 

''oh look at heeeer! hey guuurlll'' prišel je do mene in me objel.

''heey, how are you?'' 

''I'm okay. and you? I see you brought us a company today!'' 

''yeah I did! Peter, this is Chaz, Ryan, my brother Sam and you already know Justin.. guys this is Peter'' 

''hey Peter'' so rekli vsi. 

''hey, we were wondering if we could celebrate New Year with you guys'' je rekel Justin.

''oh, yeah! that's a great idea! wait I'll call my friends here. HEY GUYS!'' pomahal jim je. 

''COME HERE!'' prišli so k njemu. uhhhh jih je bilo veliko. to bo najboljše novo leto do zdaj :D spoznali smo se s tistimi, ki jih še nismo poznali. Peter nam je dal plastične kozarčke in nam notri natočil šampanjec, ki ga je imel s sabo. 

''we can't celebrate New Year without toasting, right?'' zasmejali smo se in dvignili kozarce. 

''cheers!'' smo nazdravili. stali smo tam v krogu in se smejali. 

''hey! we should all make our New Year's resolutions right now!'' 

''yeah!'' 

''you first Selly!'' 

''why me?'' 

''oh come on, just say something!''

''I'll sleep more than I did this year''

''you already sleep a lot, Selly'' je rekel Justin. zasmejali smo se in ga udarila po rami. 

''no I don't'' sem smeje rekla. 

''anything else? oh and please don't start with: ''oh, I'll be more with Justin'' because we really, really don't want to hear that'' vsi smo se zasmejali. 

''I won't. but I can say that I want to hang out with you guys more in new year'' 

''o, yeah,you've got that!'' nasmehnila sem se. potem so še vsi drugi na hitro povedali svoje zaobljube. še enkrat smo nalili kozarce. začelo se je odštevati od 20. 

''oh my God, already!'' pridružili smo se pri odštevanju. 

''15, 14, 13...... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAAAAAAAAAR!!'' 

Justin me je objel. pogledal me je in me močno poljubil.

''happy new year baby. I love you'' 

''I love you too. happy new year Justin'' nasmehnila sva se. dal mi je lupčka na čelo. potem sem se obrnila in objela Chaza in Ryana. ko sem končala z njima sem šla do Sama. objela sem ga in dal mi je lupčka na lička. 

''happy new year, bro'' 

''happy new year, sissy'' šla sem še do Petra in objela njega in njegovo družbo. 

''happy new year everyone'' nalili smo še šampanjca in še enkrat nazdravili. okoli treh zjutraj smo šli Sam, Chaz, Ryan, Justin in jaz končno domov. šli smo v kuhinjo. Justin je šel najprej k Pattie jaz pa k očiju. 

''happy new year, daddy. I love you'' 

''ohhh I love you too honey. happy new year'' dala sem mu lupčka na lice. potem sem šla do Pattie in naredila isto. šla sem še do Bruca in Diane in jima zaželela srečno novo leto. Jazzy in Jaxon sta na žalost že spala. voščila jima bom jutri. kmalu sem bila v objemu Kennyja, Fredota, Scooterja.. nazadnje sem šla še do Jeremyja. ko sva s tem odpravila, sva šla v sobo. Justin je že ležal na postelji medtem ko sem zaprla vrata. stekla sem do postelje in se s trebuhom vrgla na njegov trebuh. 

''ghooooooou Selly'' zasmejala sem se. 

''I'm sorry'' 

''it's okay'' gledal me je in mi dal lase za uho. 

''I'm so happy'' 

''why?'' 

''because I spent new year with a person I love the most'' nasmehnil se je in mi dal lupčka na nos. 

''I love you too'' poljubila sem ga. potem sem glavo naslonila na njegove prsi. božal me je po glavi dokler nisem zaspala. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

79.del

''would you like to go to the cinema with me?'' je rekel potiho in nežno.

''I'd rather go to your house and watch A Walk To Remember with whole Bieber team..''

''I.. wanted to be alone with you, but okay if you want-''

''-oh, nonono, we can go to the cinema if you wanted this'' sem rekla in se nasmehnila. vrnil mi je nasmeh. 

''I'm not so sure right now..'' 

''what-about what?'' 

''If I'd wanted to kiss you right now, would you let me?'' zasmejala sem se.

''that's a ''yes'', righ?'' pobožal me je po bradi. potem me je poljubil. poljub je trajal dolgo. pokvarili so ga paparaci. bilo jih je ogromno in napadali so naju z milijoni vprašanj. Justin me je prijel za roko in za njim sem stekla s plaže. hitro sva pritekla do njegove hiše. spravila sva se v avto. 

''let's go to the cinema before they come here and stop us''

''yeah, okay'' a bilo je prepozno. paparaci so bili že tukaj. plezali so po avtu, da bi naju ustavili. zdaj sva hotela ven iz avta v hišo ampak so nama paparaci to preprečili. ven je prišel Kenny in jih začel odrivati, da bi nama pomagal. Justin se je nekako spravil iz avta, jaz pa sem ostala notri. ko sem hotela odpreti vrata so jih paparaci zaprli in me porinili nazaj v avto. potem je do mojih vrat prišel Justin in jih začel odrivati.

''back off ya'll! back off!'' je rekel. končno je bilo tam toliko prostora, da sem lahko prišla ven. 

''thank you'' na hitro se je nasmehnil. 

''now hold me, don't let me, okay?'' pokimala sem in mu dala roko. potem sva se zrinila med paparaci v hišo. tačas jih je Kenny odrival nazaj in na koncu še sam prišel notri. končno smo zaprli vrata.

''they can be so fucking annoying! are you okay? I'm so sorry babe''

''why are you sorry?'' 

''because you have to go thru all this because of me'' 

''ah, stop it.'' objel me je. potem sva šla v sobo. Justin se je ulegel na posteljo, jaz pa sem sedela na stolu. po nekem času tišine je rekel:

''Selly?''

''hm?'' 

''come here''  z roko je udaril po postelji zraven njega. nasmehnila sem se in prišla k njemu. ulegla sem se zraven njega, objel me je in tako sva ležala. 

''how long do you wanna stay with me?'' 

''what kind of question is that, Justin?'' bil je tiho. 

''I wanna be with you forever'' še bolj sem se stisnila k njemu. 

''but you know that if you wanna be with me foever you'll have problems with media all the time, right?'' 

''I don't care'' 

''doesen't it bother you?'' 

''no. cause I know I'm safe with you. as long as I'm with you I don't care about the media.'' dal mi je lupčka na glavo. 

''okay'' potem sva bila nekaj časa tiho in sva samo ležala. 

''hey! isn't it 31st of December today? it's New Year Eve tonight!'' 

''yeah, it is'' 

''let's go to my house to tell dad and Sam that we'll have New Year Eve dinner here'' 

''we'll do it later. if we go now, the paparazzis will follow us to your house and then your dad will have problems'' 

''yeah, you're right'' 

''I'm always right'' zasmejala sva se. 

''I'm kidding'' 

''I know you are'' sem se spet zasmejala in on tudi.

''do you wanna do a video on instagram in which we're saying ''happy new year'' to all the Beliebers?'' 

''oh my God, yeeessss'' zasmejal se je. 

''okay, let's do this'' dal mi je lupčka. vzel je telefon in šel na instagram. 

''but we'll post the first video that comes out, no matter what, okay? it doesen't matter how stupid it is, we won't fix it. the first one we make will be posted.'' 

''okay'' sem se zasmejala. potem sva začela snemati. video se je začel takole:


''come on Justin, we're recording'' sem se zasmejala. ooba sva se zasmejala. Justin ni hotel začeti, zato sem jaz preden je minilo 15 sekund (toliko je lahko dolg video na instagramu).

''so hey guys, we just wanted to say..'' 

''happy new year!'' <--- se mi je pridružil.

''to all the Beliebers. have a great night, we love youuuuuuu'' potem je bilo konec videa. 

''they'll love you even more after this video.'' 

''yeah, or I'll get more hate'' sem rekla. 

''I don't get those people. how could anyone hate you? I mean.. you're the best person I've ever met, you have the biggest heart in the world.. how can they hate you?'' nasmehnila sem se. dal mi je lupčka. potem sem pogledala skozi okno. 

''did they go?''

''yeah..'' 

''let's go to your dad then'' pokimala sem. 

prišla sva do očija. 

''heey daddy''

''hey sweetie!'' 

''dad, Pattie said that we can have New Year Eve dinner at their house, all together. and than you and all the others will go somewhere to celebrate New Year, Justin, Chaz, Ryan and I will go out to celebrate it with our friends. is that okay?'' 

''yeah! sure! and Sam?''

''he'll be with us too?'' 

''okay. deal.'' 

''okay. be at their house at..'' pogledala sem Justina. 

''7.oo p.m?'' 

''yeah, that's cool'' 

''okay. be there at 7.oo''

''see you there!'' oba z Justinom sva se nasmehnila. potem sva šla nazaj k njemu domov. Justin je iskal katero glasbo bomo poslušali zvečer, jaz pa sem Pattie pomagala vse skuhati in pripraviti. pri koncu je v kuhinjo prišel Justin in rekel, da mi bo pomagal pripraviti sladico, ona pa naj počije. Pattie je šla iz kuhinje. takrat me je Justin pogledal in mi pomežiknil. 

''o-oh'' prišel je čisto do mene in me začel poljubljati. ughh prosim ne nehaj. nehal je. prijela sem ga za lica in ga potegnila nazaj k meni. takrat se je nasmehnil. potem me je začel poljubljati na vseh mestih od ustnic do vratu. začela sem se smejati. v roki sem imela sladko smetano in začela sem jo špricati nanj. ves obraz je imel od smetane. še naprej sem se smejala on pa je bil resen. potem se tudi on ni več zadrževal. vzel je smetano in mi vrnil. 

''say ''I'm sorry, I won't do it again'' ''

''noooo'' sem se smejala. spet je me je posprejal s smetano. 

''say it!'' 

''I'm sorry, I won't do it again!'' sem hitro rekla. potem me je končno izpustil. smejala sem se in tekla v kopalnico. odprla sem umivalnik in si začela umivati smetano iz obraza in las. slišala sem, da so se odprla vrata v kopalnici. oči sem imela mokre in zaprte zato nisem nič videla. vzela sem brisačo in si jo položila na obraz. 

''Justin get out!'' sem smeje rekla in ga udarila po prsih. prijel me je za roke in šel proti meni. potisnil me je k steni. prijel je brisačo in jo dal stran. začel se je igrati z mojimi lasmi. pobožal me je po ličku.

''you know, you don't have to wait for my permission everytime you want to kiss me. you can just do it''

''who said I want to kiss you?'' pogledala sem v tla, bilo mi je nerodno. 

''honey, you know I'm kidding. I want to kiss you every moment of my life'' prijel me je za brado in mi dvignil glavo. skoraj bi me že poljubil. 

''oh.. wait a sec'' šel je iz kopalnice. ugasnila se je luč. hotela sem že  iz kopalnice in stekla sem do vrat. takrat se je Justin zaletel vame in me začel divje poljubljati. zaprl je vrata v kopalnici in jih zaklenil. spet sem bila ob steni hahhah. poljubljal me je. trajalo je dolgo. vrat, lici, čelo, ustnice. povsod. don't you dare ever stop this. pleasee don'ttttttt. 

''guuuuuyyys! why arent you making the desert?'' je zaklicala Pattie. nee!! 

''just pretend we didn't hear it'' 

''noo..we can't. she'll come here anyway'' 

''we're locked'' je rekel in me spet poljubil. pogledala sem ga in ga pobožala po bradi. 

''guuuys!'' 

''oh Goddd'' 

''come on, let's make that desert'' 

''we should do this more often'' 

''I agree'' sem se zasmejala. nasmehnil se je. dal mi je lupčka.

''we're comming mooom!'' 

78.del

zbudila sem se zvečer, ko me je Justin božal po ličku in laseh. ko sem odprla oči, se je nasmehnil.

''hey shawty''

''hey'' 

''are you ready to go out?''

''did you talk to Chaz?''

''yeah''

''okay'' nekaj časa me je gledal.

''what?'' 

''no-nothing.. well yes.. I love you'' nasmehnila sem se.

''I love you too'' še naprej me je gledal.

''what now?'' prijel me je za roki in nama prekrižal prste. dal mi je lupčka na roko. dvignil mi ju je h glavi in se ulegel nad mano. začel me je poljubljati. prijel je moje lase in jih začel navijati okrog prsta. 

''I just adore your hair'' je zašepetal in zasmejala sva se. še nekaj časa sva ležala. 

''let's go out now'' sem rekla potiho. 

''okay'' 

oblekla sem se tako in imela sem tako frizuro. še Justin se je preoblekel in šla sva ven. gledala sva, če bi kje našla Petra ampak ga ni bilo. namesto tega sva našla kup deklet, ki so imele velik dekolte, kratke hlače in žabe. jej. spet. -.-
Justin je hotel, da ostaneva z njimi, saj bo tako bolj zabavno. seveda, jaz nimam jošk on se bo pa zabaval s tremi pari velikih balonov-.- nisem hotela delati drame zato sem seveda priklonila. začel me je ignorirati. okoli enajstih sem rekla, da bom šla domov, saj že nekaj časa nisem videla Sama in očija. Justinu sem rekla lahkonoč. nisem ga objela ali mu dala lupčka, niti ni izgledalo kot, da bi on to hotel. samo rekel je lahkonoč in potem sem šla. wtf? -.- jezna sem prišla domov, šla v sobo in se vrgla na posteljo. šla sem na twitter in napisala:

have fun @justinbieber potem sem telefon dala na nočno omarico in zaspala. zjutraj me je zbudil vonj čaja. v sobi je bil oči, ki mi je prinesel zajtrk. nasmehnila sem se mu.

''hey''

''hey''

''how are you?''

''I'm okay... you?''

''I know when my girl is hiding something'' je rekel.


''no dad, I'm really okay'' sem rekla in se zasmejala. 

''okay. but you know you have me when you need someone to talk, right?'' 

''sure'' nasmehnila sem se.

''okay'' potem je šel iz sobe. pogledala sem skozi okno in videla, da pada sneg. potem me je poklical Justin. javila sem se.

''yeah?'' 

''hey, Selly.. I know you're mad right now'' 

''no-why do you think so?''

''I use twitter quite a lot'' 

''yeah, so?''

''don't make me a fool, Selly. you tweeted me''

''did I?''

''stop pretending. you said ''have fun @justinbieber'' I know what's going on here''

''tell me''

''you were jealous when I wanted to stay with those girls''

''I wasn't jealous''

''you're lying to yourself. and you're lying to me'' 

''how do you know I was jealous?''

''I saw your face'' 

''why didn't you fix it then?!'' 

''stop yelling at me'' obstala sem z odprtimi usti. pogledala sem v telefon in prekinila. če se hoče pogovoriti naj pride do mene. klical me je še velikokrat ampak se nisem oglasila. potem je pozvonilo. pogledala sem skozi okno. bil je Justin ampak me ni videl. oči je odprl. okno sem čisto malo odprla, da sem slišala kaj sta se pogovarjala. 

''hi.. is Selly home?'' oči je vedel, da je bilo nekaj narobe.

''no..I think she didn't come yesterday.. she said she's going to visit her friend.. I think'' Justin je vedel, da sem doma. ampak vedel je tudi, da se nočem pogovarjati z njim. pogledal je v moje okno. gledala sva se. kmalu sem se obrnila in on tudi. šel je. takoj sem dobila sms:

can we please talk?

tomorrow

no, I need to see you today

I'm not sure

please

I hate myself cause I can't say no to you

I love you soooo muuuuuuuchhhh when? where?

you tell me

at the beach, now?

see ya

thanks babe ♥

zavila sem z očmi. preoblekla sem se in šla na plažo. tam je Justin že čakal in gledal v morje. notri je metal kamenčke. slišal je, da sem hodila proti njem in se obrnil. objel me je, a nisem sodelovala. 

''Selly please stop acting like this'' pogledala sem v tla. 

''look I'm sorry for yesterday.. but I knew one of those girls and I thought you'd be cool if we hang with them for one night'' 

''Justin, a girl is never okay if her boyfriend hangs with girls who have big balloons'' 

zasmejal se je.

''I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't stay with them'' nekaj časa sva bila tiho.

''will you forgive me?'' 

''I already said I can't say no to you'' nasmehnil se je in me objel. zdaj sem ga objela nazaj.

77.del

''truth or dare?'' 

''I don't wanna play this game anymore..'' 

''okay'' nekaj časa sva bila tiho. zazehala sem.

''I'm so tired..'' 

''me too'' zaprla sem oči.

''Selly?''

''hm?''

''lunch will be soon. we'll sleep after it, okay?'' 

''okay''

''but we have to go out and party tonight'' zasmejala sem se.

''deal'' potem je gor pritekel Fredo. 

''it's lunch time, babieeeeeeeeesss'' zasmejala sva se. potem sva prišla v kuhinjo in se usedla za mizo. Chaz je bil danes slabe volje. vsi smo se pogovarjali in se smejali, samo Chaz je bil ves čas tiho in gledal je v svoj krožnik. ko je bilo konec kosila je šel Justin v sobo, jaz pa sem mu rekla, da grem na wc. v resnici sem šla v Chazovo sobo. potrkala sem.

''I'm not in the mood right now, please don't come in!''

''it's me, Chaz'' sem rekla potiho, da ne bi kdo slišal. hitro je vstal in odprl vrata. 

''hey Selly'' je rekel in se nasmehnil. ''I'm sorry, I'm just not really.. uhmm.. please, come in'' nasmehnila sem se in šla notri. 

''what's wrong Chaz?'' bil je tiho.

''come on, you can tell me'' 

''I..you won't believe me even if I'd tell you''

''oh, you think that? is that what friends do? I swear I'll help you, Chaz'' usedla sem se na posteljo zraven njega.

''I met a girl.. and I went out with her a lot of times and we had really fun and we were like.. dating. but then she told me that she was using me because of Justin. it's always because of Justin. always. I'm sick of this! and she told me that now she found a guy she's really in love with. I really liked her Selly.. sick! everybody who hangs out with me does it because of Justin..''

''I don't'' 

''of course you do'' prijel se je za glavo.

''if I'd knew you before I'd met Justin I would absolutely hang out with you. and even if me and Justin would break up I'd still want you for my friend'' roko sem mu dala na hrbet. 

''really?'' 

''of course. I love you, okay? like a friend.''

''I love you too'' potem sem ga objela. 

''now I have to go because Justin thinks I'm in a toilet and this is really taking a lot of time'' sem rekla in zasmejala sva se. šla sem do vrat in jih odprla. tam je stal Justin. jezen. tekel je gor in jaz za njim. ko sem prišla v sobo je ležal na postelji. 

''Justin..''

''what the fuck, Selly? you lied to me and you went to Chaz? are you serious?'' 

''oh... what do you think we were doing, ha?''

''I don't know, it could be anything!'' 

''Justin, I went there to confort him because he was sad, okay?'' 

''oh yeah? now I believe you'' 

''yeah, because a good boyfriend doesen't believe his girlfriend'' sem rekla sarkastično.

''I'm not a good boyfriend? really? who lied? who?''

''Chaz was upset because of you!'' utihnil  je.

''what?'' usedla sem se zraven njega in zavzdihnila. 

''he said that everyone that hangs out with him does it because he wants to get close to you. and he said he has enaugh of that'' Justin je zavzdihnil. objel me je.

''I'm so sorry babe'' 

''don't apologize to me, go talk to Chaz.'' 

''I'm sorry cause I didn't listen to you.. again'' nasmehnila sem se. dal mi  je lupčka. 

''go talk to him'' 

''already going!'' ko je vstal, sem ga brcnila v rit. potem sem se ulegla in zaspala.

76.del

v ogledalu sem zagledala Justina. prišel je za mano in me objel od zadaj. zašepetal mi je:

''my baby'' obrnila sem se in ga zdaj še jaz objela. dal mi je lupčka. 

''do you wanna go out and breath some fresh air?'' 

''that would be great'' sem zašepetala.

''okay. I'll wait for you outside. come when you'll calm down, okay?''

''okay.'' dal mi je lupčka in šel iz sobe. potem sem se počesala in naredila make-up. šla sem v predsobo, si obula čevlje in šla ven. tam ni bilo Justina. pregledala sem vse naokoli. stala sem na dvorišču, kjer je bil košarkaški koš, pod njim pa žoga. hotela sem počakati na Justina in vzela sem žogo in začela metati na koš. potem sem dobila velik objem od zadaj. videla sem samo roke in vrtnico. nasmehnila sem se.

''I ran to the florist.'' obrnila sem se. dal mi je vrtnico.

''thank you.'' roke sem mu dala okoli vratu in ga objela. 

''you always know what to do when I'm sad'' 

''well.. it's my job, babe'' dal mi je lupčka na lička.

''I love you''

''love you too'' dal mi je roko in šla sva na sprehod. pogovarjala sva se o vsem živem in končno sem pozabila na Johnnyja. 

''hey, do you want a hot chocolate? yeah, Imma buy you hot chocolate'' je rekel. nasmehnila sem se. potegnil me je k sebi, mi dal lupčka na čelo in potem sva hodila naprej. kmalu sva se ustavila pri neki kavarni. šla sva noter in naročila vročo čokolado.

''so.. do you have any plans for New Years Eve?''

''no. nada. but we'll spend it together, right?'' 

''yeah, sure'' sem hitro rekla in se nasmehnila. 

''okay'' mi je vrnil nasmeh. 

''what do you want to do?'' 

''I was thinking.. you, Chaz, Ryan and me could go in town and celebrate New Year with Peter and others..'' 

''yeah, that's a great idea. and before we go out we invite your dad and Sam on a dinner. mom will cook. okay?''

''that's cool with me. and dad. he can't cook really well'' sem se zasmejala in on tudi. nekaj časa sva se še pogovarjala. ko sva spila vročo čokolado, sva šla naprej. 

''would shopping get you in a better mood?'' me je vprašal.

''no..no I'm fine, Justin.'' 

''sure?'' 

''yeah, I am. really, don't worry''  dal mi je roko okoli ramen in mi dal lupčka na čelo. 

''let's just go home'' 

''okay. your place or my place?''

''let's go to your place, I wanna be with Jazzy and Jaxon before they leave'' 

''well yeah, they are leaving after New Year..okay, let's go home then'' je rekel in se nasmehnil. hodila sva domov in na poti je bila stojnica s sladkarijami. Justin je kupil čokoladnega srčka in mi ga dal. nasmehnila sem se.

''thank you'' dala sem mu lupčka. odvila sem srček in hotela ugrizniti, a me je Justin prehitel. v hipu je zmanjkalo pol srčka. začela sva se smejati in Justin mi je dal lupčka na vrat. 

''the rest is yours. sorry, I had to try it'' spet sem se zasmejala. potem sem pojedla ostalo polovico srčka. kmalu sva prišla domov. odprla sem vrata in vame se je zaletel Jaxon. objel me je okoli kolen, saj višje ne pride.

''sellyyyyy'' 

''hey Jaxooon!'' dvignila sem ga v naročje. 

''how are you sweetheart?'' 

''I missed Selly'' (zjutraj ga nisem videla, sepravi me je nazadnje videl včeraj zvečer)

''awww I missed you too'' dala sem mu lupčka na lička. potem sem ga odložila, da sem se lahko sezula. potem je iztegnil roke in spet sem ga mogla dvigniti k sebi. v predsobo je pritekla še Jazzy.

''Selly, Selly, Selly! let's play!'' zasmejala sem se. z Jaxonom in Jazzy smo šli v dnevno sobo in se igrali. jaz in Jazzy sva imele punčke, Jaxon pa avtočke. prišel je Justin in se usedel na tla za mano. dal mi je lupčka na ramo. 

''let's go upstairs, please'' mi je zašepetal na uho. nasmehnila sem se. Jazzy in Jaxona sem pobožala po glavi in vstala. Justin me je prijel za roko in šla sva po stopnicah.

''they love you, Selly'' nasmehnila sem se.

''I love you too'' stala sva pred vrati in Justin me je poljubil. šla sva v sobo in se ulegla na posteljo.

''truth or dare?''

''huh?''

''we're playing truth or dare, pick one'' 

''truth'' 

''if you could choose any celebrity to be with, who would you choose?'' 

''oh, definitely Kim Kardashian. Or Beyonce!'' oba sva se smejala. ampak pričakovala sem drugačen odgovor...

''I'm kidding, Selly. I don't need a celebrity, I have you. and that's all I want. you know that, right?''

to sem pričakovala. pokimala sem. potem me je poljubil. 

''so. truth or dare?''

''truth'' 

''if you could date-''

''-please no'' sem ga prekinila.

''come on, listen to me. if you could date Chaz or Ryan, who would it be?'' 

''you'' 

''I'm serious'' 

''Justin, what kind of question is this? they're your bestfriends!''

''but who's your better friend?'' 

''well.. after that..uhm..well...''

''it's okay, you can say it'' 

''after Chaz kissed me I didn't want to hang out with him anymore but.. he apologized and he's a great friend. and Ryan is the best too. I can't choose. and I don't even want to because I would never like to date one of them'' 

''okay'' 

''truth o dare?'' 

''dare'' 

''oh you fucked up'' zasmejal se je.

''I dare you tooo.........kiss me like you never did before'' 

''I didn't fuck up, I made a great decision'' zasmejala sva se. 

''truth or dare?'' je zašepetal.

''truth'' 

''you don't like dares, do ya?'' nasmehnila sem se.

''have you ever been drunk?'' utihnila sem. 

''so...were you?''

''I...yeah..''

''when? was it before me or with me?''

''between. when I came home for Johnny's funeral..'' 

usedel se je bolj pokonci in zaskrbljeno pogledal.

''wait.. what? why didn't you tell me?'' 

''I..why would I? I did a mistake..'' 

''Selly... what were you thinking? how much did you drink?'' spet sem utihnila.

''how much did you drink?'' 

''a...bottle of Martini'' 

''whole bottle?'' pogledala sem ga. 

''a night before Johnny's funeral'' začela sem jokati. 

''and then people say I ment everything to him, I'm such a bitch'' sem hlipala. objel me je.

''honey, don't worry. please don't cry. you were sad. but alcohol doesen't help, you know? and you're not a bitch. look at me'' roke mi je položil na obraz in mi dvignil glavo. 

''listen to me'' obrisal mi je solze.

''everytime you're sad, you cry or you say bad things to yourself imagine that a piece of me dies, okay? would you like me to die?'' 

''no.. of course not'' 

''so will you stop and be happy with me?'' nasmehnila sem se in pokimala. 

75.del

zjutraj, ko sem se zbudila, je bil Justin že zbujen in me gledal. pretegnila sem se.

''hey'' 

''hey'' pobožal me je po licu in nasmehnila sem se. potem me je objel in še nekaj časa sva ležala. dal mi je lupčka na čelo.

''I'll make us some breakfast, okay?''

''okay''

''wait up for me, I'll bring it here'' 

nasmehnila sem se in pokimala.

''okay'' je zašepetal. potem je šel iz sobe. še nekaj časa sem ležala, potem pa sem se preoblekla. potem sem vzela telefon. nisem imela kaj delati, zato sem šla gledati slike, ki  jih imam v galeriji, saj jih že dolgo nisem. večina slik je bila z Justinom, zato sem se ves čas smehljala. nekaj časa sem ''slidala'' po telefonu, naenkrat pa... tears. solze, solze, solze. nisem jih mogla ustaviti. na vrsto je prišla slika, ki sem jo slikala poleti. na njej je bil Johnny. vesel, nasmejan Johnny, ki je kazal samo dobro, skrival pa je vse stvari, ki so se dogajale v preteklosti. začela sem jokati, kot sem takrat, ko sem izvedela, da ga ni več. nisem se mogla ustaviti. začela sem se vleči za lase in se dreti. telefon sem vrgla v kot. slišali so se hitri koraki po stopnicah. hotela sem se malo umiriti, ampak se nisem mogla. v sobo je prišel Jusin.

''Sell, what's wrong?'' hlipala sem. reči nisem mogla ničesar. Justin je videl telefon na tleh. pobral ga je in ga odklenil. nabrale so se mu solze. 

''no, no baby, don't cry'' je hlipal. tudi on se ni mogel zadržati.

''I'm so sorry'' je zajokal. 

usedel se je zraven mene.

''I miss him so mu..he died so wrong...he shouldn't..'' to je bilo vse kar sem spravila iz sebe.

''I know.. I know..''

''Justin?'' sem rekla, ko sem se vsaj približno pomirila. 

''yeah?'' 

vzdihnila sem. 

''don't ever leave me.. if you do, I have nothing left.'' objel me je.

''baby.. I... I won't. I promise. I love you.'' močno me je stisnil.

''you know how much?'' nasmehnila sem se.

''to the moon, to every single star, thru every galaxy, around them and back. you know hom much is this?'' 

v solzah sem se zasmejala in pokimala. nasmehnil se je.

''well, in case if you don't... it's a lot.'' sedela sva na tleh. jaz sem bila v njegovem naročju. počasi, zelo počasi me je zibal in s tem tolažil. dal mi je lupčka na lice in čelo. potem je Justin vzel moj telefon in ga odklenil. odprlo se je na Johnnyjevi sliki. tokrat nisem zajokala. tokrat sem gledala Johnnyjev nasmeh. 

''he knew how to pretend to be happy..'' sem rekla.

''no Selly. here, this picture- see that smile? it's a real one. he was happy when he was with you and he didn't pretend to be. he had the best moments in his life with you. can you imagine? you were his favourite person. you made him happy. and don't blame yourself because you left and came to me. be happy, because you draw a smile on his face.'' 

nasmehnila sem se. potem sem dala sliko naprej in bila je še ena Johnnyjeva. in še ena. in še ena. in še veliko drugih. gledala sem jih in se iz obupa smehljala vsem trenutkom.

''I love you, Justin.'' 

''I love you too. forever.'' 

''do you even know how he died?'' 

''not really.. but I conclude he wasn't really..''

''happy? people cell him gay. faggot. useles. they cell him like this since he was a child. and then in highschool they started to beat him and saying that they will kill him if he won't kill himself. he started to cut but nobody knew. nobody knew that words hurt him. nobody understood him. he lived without a father and that's why he was gay for them. because he grew up only with his mom... and then I met him and people knew for me and you. that's why they were afraid to say bad things.. and then I just left.. with no heart. I was such a bitch..''

''Selly stop saying this! it's not true! it's not your fault! you didn't know.''

''Justin he was safe with me! and when I wasn't around people wanted him to die! they beated him on every corner of the street. and if I wouldn't left he would be alive and we would all be happy'' 

''you're crazy. you didn't know. if you would know, of course you would stay. but Johnny didn't tell you for bad things that happened to him. and it's not your fault. could you please understand that?'' jokala sem. po nekem času sem pokimala. spet me je objel.

''I know it's hard. but you'll have to accept it once. he's gone and he'll never be back. but everytime you think about him, you mustn't think about how or why he died. you have to think about his smile and laugh and all the good things. you promise?'' 

pokimala sem.

''okay.''

''but... there's one thing I'm afraid of..'' 

''what?'' 

''you're being called gay, idiot and so on too.. and I'm just so afraid.. that you'll finally have enaugh of all the shit and you'll just..quit.. or even end up like Johnny.. I'm so scared of loosing you in any way..'' sem zahlipala.

''no..no, honey. I don't care about haters. you know that the half of a world loves me and are my Beliebers. and I know that I have them and my family and my Bieber crew and of course you. and knowing that I have you means the most to me. and I promise I'll never break down because of haters. it's hard. and it's really horrible how they call me or anybody else. but I know that nobody's perfect and I'm not either.''

''yeah, you're perfect Justin'' nasmehnil se je. 

''I'm very far from perfect. but I don't care. because I know I'm always me, even if I do mistakes. everybody does mistakes. but we learn from them. and it's nothing wrong with mistakes. I swear to God that I will never get enaugh of the ones that I love and you'll never lose me.'' 

objela sem ga. potem sem šlav kopalnico, da bi se umila.

74.del

pozno ponoči so domov prišli Pattie, Bruce in Diane in zbudila sem se. ostalih še ni bilo. Justin je spal. iz postelje sem vstala tako, da ga nisem zbudila. potem sem vstala in jih šla pozdravit. Bruce in Diane sta šla kmalu v sobo. 

''so.. did you and Justin had fun today?'' 

''uhm.. ye..I..'' 

''what?'' 

''well.. when we wanted to go home, a guy came behind us and he hit him.. and Justin.. fell and he woke up when we came home, not earlier.. I'm so..'' zajokala sem. ''I'm so sorry.. it was my fault..because I knew this guy before and just because of me.. he said I'm a bitch and Justin couldn't.. he slapped Luke and then Luke slapped him back and then Justin started to bleeding and I...'' 

''honey, it's not your fault'' je rekla in tekla gor k Justinu. jaz sem objokana stekla za njo. usedla se je zraven Justina in on se je zbudil. 

''hey..ah..why are you here?'' jo je vprašal. ''and why is Selly crying?'' je rekel, takoj vstal in prišel do mene.

''what's wrong baby?'' 

''no..nothing..'' 

''mom, what happened?'' 

''I came home and Selly told me that some guy hit you and you fell.. and she blames herself because she knew that guy before'' 

Justin me je pogledal in me pobožal po laseh.

''oh sweety..I'm okay. it doesen't hurt anymore and it's not your fault.'' pogledal je Pattie. ''mom..just go to sleep, okay? goodnight.'' je rekel. 

''okay. goodnight guys'' šla je iz sobe. Justin je spet pogledal mene. objel me je. 

''why do you always blame yourself?'' 

''I..I don't..I..''

''it's okay. don't worry, alright? nothing's your fault.'' spet me je pogledal in mi obrisal solze. potem mi je dal lupčka na čelo. 

''let's go back to bed'' je zašepetal.

''okay.'' 

''Jus?''

''o-oh. it's always something wrong when you call me Jus'' zasmejala sem se.

''nothing's wrong'' 

''then tell me'' nekaj časa sem bila tiho. 

''could you please...'' 

''what?'' 

''kiss me and when you do that cuddle with me all night'' 

''I wished you'd say that'' zasmejala sem se. 

po treh minutah je vprašal:

''was that enaugh?''

''I'd never get enaugh of this.. but if you..''

''no, I don't'' me je prekinil in spet me je poljubil. zasmejala sem se. potem se je ulegel zraven mene in me objel. močno me je stisnil. 

''goodnight shawty''

''nighty night honey'' dal mi je lupčka na čelo in potem sva zaspala.

73.del

kmalu se je zmračilo. z Justinom sva šla v mesto, da bi videla, če se kaj dogaja. bila je muzika in prižgane so bile lučke.

držala sva se za roke in se sprehajala po mestu. videla sem Petra. 

''oh, look Justin! that guy and his company! we hung out when you weren't here.. Peter!!'' sem ga poklicala. obrnil se je in se zasmejal.

''oh, look who's here again!'' je od daleč pozdravil. začel je hoditi proti nama. še preden je prišel blizu, je Justin rekel:

 ''is that the one who touched you?'' 

''no, no.. Peter is okay. and that one.. I think Luke is not with them right now..'' sem rekla in pogledala naokrog. 

''oh...okay.'' nasmehnila sem se mu in on meni. 

''heyy'' je rekel Peter, ko je prišel bližje. 

''heey'' sva rekla oba naenkrat.

''oh! you brought us Bieber today!'' zasmejali smo se. dala sta si roke.

''my pleasure to meet you.''

''you too. thanks for making company to Selly when I wasn't here.'' 

''oh, no problem! she's cool!'' zasmejala sem se.

''hey.. is Luke with you today?''

''no..we don't hang out anymore''

''why not? I mean.. if it's because of me.. I don't want to break fiendships..''

''it wasn't a friendship. look at him. I mean.. look how he acted to you.. you became our friend and friends don't hit eachother, right? and also he drinked too much. he was drunk almost all the time and we couldn't stand him anymore so we don't hang out now.''

''yeah.. he was a little weird.'' sem rekla in zasmejali smo se. potem so bližje prišli še vsi njegovi prijatelji. spoznala sem nekaj novih in vse sem predstavila Justinu. nekaj časa smo bili skupaj. 

''oh.. I forgot.. I guess you want to be alone now right?'' je rekel in se zasmejal. pogledala sem Justina. 

''well... if you don't.. mind..?'' je rekel, pogledal mene in nato še Petra. ta je zamahnil z roko.

''ahh.. Merry Christmas!'' 

''Merry Christmas!'' sva rekla oba in potem sva se ločila od njih.


nekaj sva se pogovarjala in kar naenkrat je Justin obrnil glavo nazaj in utihnil. še jaz sem pogledala nazaj, da bi videla kaj je gledal. obviously-.- 

<--mimo naju je šla pol slečena punca. razočarano sem pogledala Justina in odkimala z glavo. roka mi je počasi zdrsnila iz njegove in ni bilo videti, da bi to opazil. potem me je pogledal. 

''is something wrong?'' 

''no. nothing'' ustavil se je in me povlekel za rokav plašča, da bi ustavil še mene. obrnila sem se proti njemu.

''what is it?'' je rekel in mi položil svoje na moje čelo. odmaknila sem se in pogledala tisto punco. še on jo je pogledal. punca si je začela gristi ustnice in gledala je Justina. 

''h..what? her?'' pogledala sem ga. 

''what?'' je rekel in se zasmejal. 

''I don't know, you looked behind her and you stopped talking to me..'' 

''oh Selly..''

''what? she has those perfect skinny legs which I don't have and her hair..'' 

''you're much prettier Selly.. and I didn't look behind her because she's pretty because the prettiest girl in the world is right beside me and I'm so happy that she belongs to me. I looked at her because she's dressed slutty. I mean.. look at her, she only has a pullover. should I give her money for some jeans?'' butnila sem ga po rami. 

''stop it'' sem v smehu rekla. 

''well, it's true'' zasmejal se je tudi on. šla sva naprej in sprehajala sva se po stojnicah. na eni od njih so prodajali samo dreamcatcherje. 

''you definitely need one'' zasmejala sem se. potem sem izbrala enega zase in enega za Justina. vzela sva jih in šla naprej. 
potem so začeli pokati ognjemete. 

''oh..it's time for that suprise..count to three'' počil je en ognjemet in skupaj sva preštela: ''one'' . počil je drug in preštela sva: ''two'' . počil je še tretji. takrat so se vse lučke na nebu spremenile v napis: Merry Christmas Shawty. 

''three'' je rekel. nasmehnila sem se in ga močno objela.

''I love you so much.''

''I love you more'' 

''thank you for this'' 

''no problem baby, merry Christmas.'' 

''merry Christmas.'' potem me je poljubil. še nekaj časa sva gledala ognjemete in potem sva se končno odpravila domov. pogovarjala sva se in naenkrat sem slišala glas za seboj. 

''oh look at them. the fagot and his beauty.'' Luke. obrnila sva se. Justin me je pogledal. 

''yeah, that's the one'' sem zašepetala. kmalu je bil Luke čisto blizu naju. 

''you don't deserve her'' je rekel. 

''oh yeah? who does then?'' 

''I don't know.. me?'' 

''oh, of course. you're drunk every night and you say you deserve her. bravissimo.'' je rekel Justin in zaploskal. 

''you don't know me. and she's a bitch anyway..'' ko je to rekel, ga je Justin udaril. močno. tako, da je Luke padel na tla. 

''you can call me fagot, gay, girl, unsuccessful or I don't care what. but you won't call my girl a bitch.'' potem me je prijel za roko in me povlekel, da sva šla hitro naprej proti domu. zakričala sem, ker sem slišala jezne in hitre korake za nama. Justin se je obrnil in Luke ga je udaril toliko, da je Justin padel na tla, zaprl oči in jih nekaj časa ni odprl.

to so videli Peter in ostali in takoj pritekli na pomoč. takrat je bedak zbežal. 

''Justin! Justin wake up!please..'' začela sem jokati. Julie (Petrova prijateljica) me je tolažila in pomagali so mi ga odpeljati k njemu domov. tam ni bilo nobenega, ker so bili na božični zabavi. Justina so položili na posteljo.

''thank you so much guys. you can go now. thanks'' sem rekla.

''no problem, Selly.'' je rekel Peter in potem so šli. Justin je počasi prišel k zavesti. pobožala sem ga po licu. 

''are you okay? should I call somebody home?''

''no..I'll be okay. just.. stay with me tonight. okay?'' nasmehnila sem se in pokimala. šla sem v kopalnico po kozarec vode in vate. Justinu sem obrisala obraz. potem sem odnesla kozarec v kuhinjo in mu gor prinesla svežo vodo, da jo je spil. potem sem se ulegla zraven njega in gledala sva se. 

''I see why you hate him'' zasmejala sem se. 

''I'm tired. you aren't?'' 

''no..I'm tired too''

''let's go sleep?'' 

nasmehnil se je in me poljubil. ulegla sem se k njemu in počasi zaprla oči.