''my baby'' obrnila sem se in ga zdaj še jaz objela. dal mi je lupčka.
''do you wanna go out and breath some fresh air?''
''that would be great'' sem zašepetala.
''okay. I'll wait for you outside. come when you'll calm down, okay?''
''okay.'' dal mi je lupčka in šel iz sobe. potem sem se počesala in naredila make-up. šla sem v predsobo, si obula čevlje in šla ven. tam ni bilo Justina. pregledala sem vse naokoli. stala sem na dvorišču, kjer je bil košarkaški koš, pod njim pa žoga. hotela sem počakati na Justina in vzela sem žogo in začela metati na koš. potem sem dobila velik objem od zadaj. videla sem samo roke in vrtnico. nasmehnila sem se.
''I ran to the florist.'' obrnila sem se. dal mi je vrtnico.
''thank you.'' roke sem mu dala okoli vratu in ga objela.
''you always know what to do when I'm sad''
''well.. it's my job, babe'' dal mi je lupčka na lička.
''I love you''
''love you too'' dal mi je roko in šla sva na sprehod. pogovarjala sva se o vsem živem in končno sem pozabila na Johnnyja.
''hey, do you want a hot chocolate? yeah, Imma buy you hot chocolate'' je rekel. nasmehnila sem se. potegnil me je k sebi, mi dal lupčka na čelo in potem sva hodila naprej. kmalu sva se ustavila pri neki kavarni. šla sva noter in naročila vročo čokolado.
''so.. do you have any plans for New Years Eve?''
''no. nada. but we'll spend it together, right?''
''yeah, sure'' sem hitro rekla in se nasmehnila.
''okay'' mi je vrnil nasmeh.
''what do you want to do?''
''I was thinking.. you, Chaz, Ryan and me could go in town and celebrate New Year with Peter and others..''
''yeah, that's a great idea. and before we go out we invite your dad and Sam on a dinner. mom will cook. okay?''
''that's cool with me. and dad. he can't cook really well'' sem se zasmejala in on tudi. nekaj časa sva se še pogovarjala. ko sva spila vročo čokolado, sva šla naprej.
''would shopping get you in a better mood?'' me je vprašal.
''no..no I'm fine, Justin.''
''sure?''
''yeah, I am. really, don't worry'' dal mi je roko okoli ramen in mi dal lupčka na čelo.
''let's just go home''
''okay. your place or my place?''
''let's go to your place, I wanna be with Jazzy and Jaxon before they leave''
''well yeah, they are leaving after New Year..okay, let's go home then'' je rekel in se nasmehnil. hodila sva domov in na poti je bila stojnica s sladkarijami. Justin je kupil čokoladnega srčka in mi ga dal. nasmehnila sem se.
''thank you'' dala sem mu lupčka. odvila sem srček in hotela ugrizniti, a me je Justin prehitel. v hipu je zmanjkalo pol srčka. začela sva se smejati in Justin mi je dal lupčka na vrat.
''the rest is yours. sorry, I had to try it'' spet sem se zasmejala. potem sem pojedla ostalo polovico srčka. kmalu sva prišla domov. odprla sem vrata in vame se je zaletel Jaxon. objel me je okoli kolen, saj višje ne pride.
''sellyyyyy''
''hey Jaxooon!'' dvignila sem ga v naročje.
''how are you sweetheart?''
''I missed Selly'' (zjutraj ga nisem videla, sepravi me je nazadnje videl včeraj zvečer)
''awww I missed you too'' dala sem mu lupčka na lička. potem sem ga odložila, da sem se lahko sezula. potem je iztegnil roke in spet sem ga mogla dvigniti k sebi. v predsobo je pritekla še Jazzy.
''Selly, Selly, Selly! let's play!'' zasmejala sem se. z Jaxonom in Jazzy smo šli v dnevno sobo in se igrali. jaz in Jazzy sva imele punčke, Jaxon pa avtočke. prišel je Justin in se usedel na tla za mano. dal mi je lupčka na ramo.
''let's go upstairs, please'' mi je zašepetal na uho. nasmehnila sem se. Jazzy in Jaxona sem pobožala po glavi in vstala. Justin me je prijel za roko in šla sva po stopnicah.
''they love you, Selly'' nasmehnila sem se.
''I love you too'' stala sva pred vrati in Justin me je poljubil. šla sva v sobo in se ulegla na posteljo.
''truth or dare?''
''huh?''
''we're playing truth or dare, pick one''
''truth''
''if you could choose any celebrity to be with, who would you choose?''
''oh, definitely Kim Kardashian. Or Beyonce!'' oba sva se smejala. ampak pričakovala sem drugačen odgovor...
''I'm kidding, Selly. I don't need a celebrity, I have you. and that's all I want. you know that, right?''
to sem pričakovala. pokimala sem. potem me je poljubil.
''so. truth or dare?''
''truth''
''if you could date-''
''-please no'' sem ga prekinila.
''come on, listen to me. if you could date Chaz or Ryan, who would it be?''
''you''
''I'm serious''
''Justin, what kind of question is this? they're your bestfriends!''
''but who's your better friend?''
''well.. after that..uhm..well...''
''it's okay, you can say it''
''after Chaz kissed me I didn't want to hang out with him anymore but.. he apologized and he's a great friend. and Ryan is the best too. I can't choose. and I don't even want to because I would never like to date one of them''
''okay''
''truth o dare?''
''dare''
''oh you fucked up'' zasmejal se je.
''I dare you tooo.........kiss me like you never did before''
''I didn't fuck up, I made a great decision'' zasmejala sva se.
''truth''
''you don't like dares, do ya?'' nasmehnila sem se.
''have you ever been drunk?'' utihnila sem.
''so...were you?''
''I...yeah..''
''when? was it before me or with me?''
''between. when I came home for Johnny's funeral..''
usedel se je bolj pokonci in zaskrbljeno pogledal.
''wait.. what? why didn't you tell me?''
''I..why would I? I did a mistake..''
''Selly... what were you thinking? how much did you drink?'' spet sem utihnila.
''how much did you drink?''
''a...bottle of Martini''
''whole bottle?'' pogledala sem ga.
''a night before Johnny's funeral'' začela sem jokati.
''and then people say I ment everything to him, I'm such a bitch'' sem hlipala. objel me je.
''honey, don't worry. please don't cry. you were sad. but alcohol doesen't help, you know? and you're not a bitch. look at me'' roke mi je položil na obraz in mi dvignil glavo.
''listen to me'' obrisal mi je solze.
''everytime you're sad, you cry or you say bad things to yourself imagine that a piece of me dies, okay? would you like me to die?''
''no.. of course not''
''so will you stop and be happy with me?'' nasmehnila sem se in pokimala.
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