53.del

pritekla sem domov in šla v sobo. spet je držal moje roke in za trenutek sem spet začutila tisto toplino. grozno je bilo, ko sem pomislila na to, da ga nimam in ga nikoli več ne bom imela. in videlo se mu je, da mu je bilo žal. prvič v življenju sem ga videla tako zajokati. šla sem pred svoje okno in objokana pogledala skozi. nisem bila prepričana, če sem prav videla, ker sem imela mokre oči. hitro sem si jih obrisala in še enkrat pogledala. Justin je stal čisto na začetku ulice, tam kjer se razcepi na dve poti. kjer ena pot vodi do Justinove hiše, ena pa do moje. žalostno je gledal v okno moje sobe. zdelo se mi je, da je videl da ga gledam in bil bi čas, da se odmaknem. a se nisem mogla. nisem ga mogla nehati gledati, kako je stal tam čisto sam in žalosten. hotela sem ven, iti do njega, ga objeti. ampak vedela sem, da če mu oprostim se bo stvar ponavljala spet in spet in vedno znova bi me prizadelo. tako sem se zagledala in izpadla kot debilka. zdaj sem se morala obrniti in končno umakniti pogled z njega. šla sem do postelje in razmišljala. o Justinu, Harryju, Seleni, Jade... saj res, Jade! hitro sem jo poklicala in rekla, da more priti. pri meni je bila kakor hitro je lahko. usedli sva se na tla in začela sem ji razlagati. nisem si mogla pomagat in spet sem se zjokala. 

''oh, honey, don't cry.'' je rekla in me objela.

''I'm always here for you.'' 

''thank you.'' sem zahlipala. 

''and don't worry. you'll find a better one.''  ko je rekla to, sem jo pogledala.

''what?''

''how can I find a better one if there is no better guy than him on the whole world?'' 

''listen.'' je rekla in mi obrisala solze. 

''there are guys who don't cheat on their girlfriends and are honest with them. and then there's Justin. I know you love him from the day one. but you loved him even when you didn't know eachother. and in my opinion that's all. he's your idol, of course you would always want to date him. but...''

''no, Jade! stop! I don't love him because he's Justin Bieber! I love him because of his personality..''

''what personality, Selly? you love him because he kisses with another?'' 

''it happened once...''

''twice.'' me je popravila.

''okay twice! but his heart doesen't change for that..''

''why did you leave him then?'' 

potem sem bila tiho. obrisala sem si še naslednjo solzo in potem rekla:

''because I'm stupid. and selfish. and...'' 

''no Selly!! nothing is your fault! he kissed another and told you he's sorry. then he kissed the same girl AGAIN and now it's logical you left him!''

''I didn't left him.'' 

takrat mi je prišlo na pamet. Jade je zavzdihnila, ker me ni mogla prepričati v svoje. 

''Jade. I didn't listen to him.'' 

''when?'' 

''when he tried to explane.'' 

''but you know he would tell you a lie, right?'' 

''I don't care. I should listen to him.'' sem rekla. 

''let's go to the beach and eat some ice-cream for you to calm down.''

''no. I was there before and it didn't end well.''

''oh come on, Selly. you're with me now and if we see Justin we'll ignore him.''

''I could never ignore him. never in a billion years I could not ignore him.

''you need some fresh air. he's sad and he's at home. believe me, he's not in town.'' 

''okay. I'll just put some better clothes on.'' 

''okay.'' 

ko sem se preoblekla, sva šli. počasi sva se sprehajali po plaži in Jade me je spravljala v boljšo voljo. kmalu sem pozabila na Justina in se zabavala z Jade. šli sva po sladoled. medtem, ko sva ga jedli, sva šli do kolen v morje, saj sva obe imeli kratke hlače. smejali sva se, a še vedno je bil tisti občutek.. saj veš. ko se imaš dobro, a veš, da ko boš spet sam boš jokal in spet bo vse narobe. ampak poskušala sem uživati tiste minute z Jade. na plaži sva bili dolgo in šele okoli pol desetih sva šli domov.



''Jade?'' 

''yeah?'' 

''I don't want to be alone again...''

''you can sleep in our house if you want.'' 

''thank you so much.'' 

''anytime.'' je rekla in se mi nasmehnila. prišli sva v njeno hišo in šli v sobo. prižgali sva računalnik in šli na moj twitter. imela sem par neprebranih sporočil. vse od Justina.

Selly

please believe me.

I really miss you. 

you have to listen to me.

please don't ignore me. it breaks my heart. 

spet sem začela jokat. Jade me je objela. 

''what shall I do Jade?'' 

''ignore.'' 

''I can't. you know I can't.''

''you have to, Selly. do you want to get hurt even more?''

''I have to answer Jade. what if he really didn't do anything wrong?'' 

''listen. do whatever you want. I'll support and help you at every step. if you feel like answering it, answer it. I'll be with you.'' 

''I love you Jade.'' 

''I love you too.'' nasmehnili sva se ena drugi in potem sem mu mogla odpisati. preden sem kaj napisala sem dobila še eno sporočilo.

Selly I won't stop. not until you answer. 

I'm here.

oh my God.

what?

I got a big smile when I saw you replied. 

why did you write me on twitter? 

cause I'm not alowed to write/call you on phone, remember? :)

Justin. what happened?

I really don't know.

were you drunk on that party or what? can't you remember??  ko sem pisala to sem zbijala po tipkovnici. 

no!

okay. I'm not into this. bye Justin

please, don't go. 

don't let me go.

I want to see you again. 

no. 

Selly, why are you doing this to me?

I told you so many times...

but none of the things you said was true.

like?

like I kissed Selena.   pogledala sem Jade in ta je že spala. 

Selly?

come back please. 

I have to go. 

no!

yes.

if you go, I'll write you on phone.

I won't answer.

I would make you answer.

Justin can't you see? it would never work out. we fight over computer. I'll go now. bye.

Selly?

stop.

I love you. 

stop!

I can't. I'm telling you the thruth. 

no you're no... what am I doing? seriously, bye now. 

don't go, please.         

hotela sem odgovoriti ampak nisem mogla. ugasnila sem računalnik in zaspala.